Optimize Your Enjoyment of Columbia StrEAT
Ever been to a food truck festival before? Here are some basic tips on how to optimize your enjoyment of this delicious event. Sounds easy? Guess again.
Don't be a food truck amateur. Memorize the following tips to ensure you maximize your total enjoyment of the day.
1) Wear sunscreen! You think you’ll work up a nice tan without it but lets be real, you end up looking like a bright red sweaty tomato. No one likes sweaty tomatoes.
2) Wear comfortable shoes as you will have to line up in order to get your eat on. Don’t let this discourage you though, because it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. Just kidding. Lining up, like, totally sucks. Sucks less with comfortable shoes though.
3) Bring your family and friends, not because it is a great event to experience the Downtown New West core and to take in the amazing revitalization of the area while enjoying great food, but because they act as meat barriers to protect you (and your food). Think about it: you’re about to chow down on your poutine that was probably made with potatoes grown in a potently nutritious soil which was most likely watered with Unicorn tears when all of a sudden, Allan from accounting comes over to say ‘Hi’. That’s when you deflect to your spouse, friend, spawn, etc. and mumble something about how they would love to learn more about Excel spreadsheets. Then you can wander off and enjoy that poutine while Allan talks about audits, balance sheets, cash flow…wow sorry I literally just fell asleep typing that.
4) Make sure you bring cash with you. With the proliferation of a credit card wielding society, throwing down some crisp green Queen E’s is a total power move. Like, who even carries cash around anymore, am I right? Also, it’s just quicker than embarrassing yourself when you fumble with the debit machine and attempt to crack a joke about how you keep forgetting your PIN. (Mine is 1111 so it’s easy to remember)
5) What do you, Lebron James, Michael Phelps, and Hayley Wickenheiser have in common? You all take naps before intense physical exertion where stakes are high and losing is not an option. This means ensuring you get a good nap before gorging the delicacy of the gods (aka food truck cuisine). No one said eating was easy, so make sure you are well rested and fully alert during the day of so you can elegantly deflect Allan when he asks you when he’ll get those papers from you since the client needed them last Monday.
6) Avoid distractions while eating. Eating is so much more than nutritious consumption; it really is an art form. Much like how you don’t stare at a Rothko for two seconds before attempting to beat your high score on Angry Birds, you should treat eating like appreciating art work. It is just you, the piece of art, and the eternal longing of attempted self actualization brought about through the use of colour, negative space, medium of the piece and... Sorry, waffles really move me emotionally.
7) Finally, just go out and enjoy yourself! Once your urge to feed is vanquished by the multitude of offerings, take a deep breath and enjoy the sites around you. Walk down Columbia Street, go hang out in Westminster Pier Park, check out what the River Market has to offer, and perhaps make a new friend to hang out with! Can’t emphasize that last part enough, because seriously, if Allan invites me one more time to his house for wine spritzers and bocce, I’m going to cry.
-Summer Ambassador and President of the Drake Appreciation fan club, Michael Chang